LOOK MOM!! LOOK AT WHAT THE FUNNY HEAVY METAL PEOPLE ARE UP TO NOW!!

Call me an old curmudgeon (don’ tempt me – Ed), but I’m at an age where this kinda stuff just goes right over my head; I made my thoughts quite clear on Australian novelty metal troupe Battlesnake last time they slithered into my earholes, but, for reasons best known to himself, the boss man has asked me to have a listen to their latest clunkily-titled opus. So here goes…

The first thing to note is that DoTEatHfTS is mercifully short; there’s not too much dicking about to wade through to get to the good stuff, which resides at the back end of the album. That wading will take place amidst ‘heavy metal’ that often sounds like outtakes from Turbo without Halford‘s cheeky grin and knowing hip thrusts (Beelzebug II), or things that sound like chase music for a long-lost Japanese Kids Cartoon about Robots saving Universes (Murder Machine). If this is your thing, go your your life; Similarly, if you found merit in the band’s first couple of albums then there’s plenty of stuff here for you to get your ears into.

Apparently the band are making good progress across the UK and Europe, and good luck to them, because tracks like closer Moto Exordium prove that there is a really good, seventies-inspired prog metal band lying in wait deep inside the collective Battlesnake psyche; the teachings of Blue Öyster Cult as interpreted by The Darkness is a genuinely exciting prospect in this writer’s book, and I’d readily snap up an album full of that if it were thrown my way, ironically or otherwise… Sadly, however, there’s just not enough of that here for me to honestly recommend this to anyone but the most die hard Battlesnaker… Sorry!

Dawn of the Exultants and the Hunt for the Shepherd is out now