Hello! The tour has kicked off – is it good to be back out on the road with Black Rheno? “Hell yeh, we’re definitely a band that thrives on playing shows and getting out on tour… I mean, its pretty bloody tops right!”
It certainly is! Black Rheno are already pretty hardened tourists – can you remember much about your first ‘proper’? Tour? “In the first six months of us being a band we hit it pretty damn hard on the road and also hit the booze just as hard to go along with it. We started off booking tours around weekends. We’d come home insanely broke, hungover but completely fulfilled… unfortunately our back pockets could not keep it up like that and it turns out you actually play much better when you’re not shit faced (laughs)! We still enjoy ourselves but that was pretty full on at the beginning! As far as big ass tours go, when we did the Blast Grind Thrash Fest – that was pretty insane. Being a part of a package like that where there’s a full crew, proper early load ins and sound checks and hundreds of people in front of you every night was something very special for all of us. First night was almost the end of it though, I jumped of stage during our set to join the pit and someone up front (Chris from Kold Creature I’m looking at you!) grabbed my legs and and I went heads first into the concrete based floor at The Triffid. I took a blow to my head that night like I’ve never taken before, I managed to get straight to my feet, not breaking from singing but everything was spinning, I made my way to the stage and had no idea if I had a massive gash in my head or what. I finished the set to find an egg-like bump but the size of a mango growing on the side of my head, it was pretty horrific. Spent a little time in the emergency ward of Brisbane hospital and got released at like three or four am. We all crashed out and woke up like two hours later, flew to Sydney then did it all again, I’m pretty sure I very close to a proper lights out that night though”.
But full marks for finishing the show! That’s what it’s all about, egg-shaped mangoes or not! What are the key ingredients for a top-drawer Black Rheno show? “Two table spoons of fukyeh, three cups of shit yeh cunt, water, flower, beef stock, salt, pepper, organic basil, morganic beer and a dash of fuckin shit yeh cunt”.
An actual list of ingredients! That’s the first time anyone has actually provided us with such a thing! thank you. Now, what would a dream rider be for each member of the band? “All the obvious treats of course, booze & good food, but back stage tenpin bowling would go down pretty well thinking about it, perhaps a floaty pool to relax in and some quality massages too… and fireworks, lots and lots of fireworks!”
Obviously firweworks. That’s the dream. But what about the reality? Does a band get looked after by venues and promoters these days? “Yep, most places are pretty cool really and I think we’ve been taken care of for sure. I mean we’re not actually asking for all that shit up above (yet) but a few beers and some food when it can be arranged is all we need and is greatly appreciated”.
What’s the best thing about touring? “Playing shows, meeting new people and just escaping from reality for a bit. Its like you head out on this massive mission and completely leave the real world behind with one focus, and that’s to make people have a fucking good time. There’s no better feeling than when your onstage and engaged with a crowd of people locked in together with no way out, its fucking magic!”
And the worst? “When the tour ends”.
Yes, I believe the technical term for ‘end of tour blues’ is dysphoria. A very common condition amongst musos! Aside from your tools of the trade, what other one item do you find essential for tour purposes? “Ear plugs, and not for the obvious reasons of ear protection at shows but Peachy (also knows as Doug) snores like a fucking champion. I have seriously been thinking of setting up a mic and tracking that stuff while he’s asleep, lay it over a grinding death track and kapow, we have a new single!”
You should absolutely do that! We’s play it on Sentinel Daily Radio! And what about a luxury – something you shouldn’t take but always seem to find in your kit once you’re on the road? “Every now and again I’ll take one of my surfboards away, there’s something about surfing killer breaks like Burleigh Head or Bells Beach whilst being on tour that just makes me think, oh hell yeh life is good”.
Here’s your one chance to spruik the current tour to the readers of Sentinel Daily – what’s in store for them if they decide to come and say hello? “If you come along to one of the shows on The Final Cult Tour and mention this very post we will take you backstage to join us for beers and tenpin bowling, after which you will be served quality food and beverages while relaxing in a floaty pool before being treated to a full body massage by on of our highly accomplished masseuses… in fact you’ll probably miss the show you’ll be having such a great time. This truly is the opportunity of a life time and for only seven easy payments of $29.95 you too could partake in this amazing opportunity! Call Now on 1800 – FUK – YEH to reserve your spot!”*
Thanks for taking the time to chat!
*This offer is only available while stocks last and is by no means redeemable , upon partaking in said offer this confirms Black Rheno has total ownership and all publishing rights to your soul.